Im too picky with dating men
He’s doubtful that women really get objectified, thinks there’s a lack of women in tech partially because “men have better spatial reasoning,” and is surprised that I had a higher sex drive than my ex-boyfriend and never daydreamed about my future wedding decorations. I shouldn’t expect better, or I’ll be single forever.Another friend said something similar when I told him about a date who thought that rape culture doesn’t exist and that men are just as disadvantaged as anyone else because they’re pressured to take the initiative in relationships. These aren’t the only people to warn me not to “be too picky.” The advice is all over self-help books and dating blogs.Add to this the influence of TV, media and the social situation we grew up in and our list of qualities that make up Mr or Ms Right can be deeply entrenched by the time we reach our mid-teens.This is an unconscious process for the most part and many of us have had the uncomfortable experience of finding ourselves dating someone who is uncannily like one of our parents.There is no right or wrong answer, you are just doing some detective work that will help you to be more open-minded and open-hearted in the future.Prioritise your list Once you have your list start to go through it asking yourself how important it really is on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being ‘set in stone essential’ and 1 being ‘desirable but not at all important’. Is this something I can bring to a relationship myself? Your aim is to get down to 3 non-negotiables, more than that and perhaps you are being too picky.The old saying, don’t judge a book by its cover is very apt in this case but don’t be too hard on yourself if this is something you do very easily, we all do it to a greater or lesser degree and often it is more of a knee-jerk reaction than a conscious dismissal.
This is because when it really comes down to it what most people want is a partner who is attractive at a deeper level, with qualities that will stand the test of time.
Don’t look for qualities in someone else that are ones you want to cultivate in yourself – as Gandhi said, be the change you want to see in the world.
Once you are clear about what your non-negotiables are you may find yourself with a lot more freedom when it comes to dating.
😆 #truestory #single #dating #hardtoget #gamechanger #goodgirl #physco #boyfriend #girlfriend #texting #datingmeme #datinglife #yousuck A post shared by Wendy (@1sassy_southerner) on Stop smothering me and give me my space.
Without even realising it many of us carry around a list in our heads which details the characteristics of our ‘perfect’ partner. This list was probably formulated when we were very young watching our parent’s relationship and other significant adults around us.